THANK YOU

Today in my writing group we did a prompt, we were to write a thank you note to someone in our past. I chose to write to my high school art teacher. I thought I would post it here because as I was writing, I realized all over again how much she had meant to me.

Dear Pam,

I wanted to send you this thank you note to tell you all you have meant to me over the years, even after high school was over. You may not have known that as a high school art teacher the impact you were having on certain students and how much you impacted my life unparticular was so enormous.

At the time, 1979 to be exact, I was grappling with being adopted and not able to talk about it at home. You gave me a safe place to talk about it, let me know that I was ok just how I was and the shame I was feeling because it was not something I could talk about with anyone.

I felt like you really cared about me and I could feel the connection we had, truth be told, I really wanted you to be my mom. You were nurturing and loving and I felt like you really understood me. I needed that at the time.

We didn’t know it at the time but I was also trying to figure out my sexuality. Why did I have such strong feelings for some girls and not boys? Why did I feel like I loved you? It was all so confusing and you made me feel like there was nothing wrong with me, even though you never acted like you knew my angst, you knew I needed someone to talk to and trust.

Thank you for embracing me and letting me know it was ok to be me and there was no judgment or shame from you only listening and comfort.

I have never forgotten how much you helped me at a critical time in my life. You heard me.

I know it was a lot sometimes, you had all of those classes of kids to teach. I would show up at your lunch break needing to talk. It never seemed to bother you.

Thank you for your time, energy and love for this 16-year-old girl.

Thank you for seeing me.

Love Karri

This teacher was friend and I continued to go see her at the high school long after I had graduated. She came to my wedding and met my son a few months after he was born. I emailed her several years ago at the school. It was spring and she was retiring that June, what luck I had to get a message to her, she said she remembered me (maybe they all say that) and hoped I was doing well.

It has been a pattern in my life to feel a connection to someone when I feel seen for who I am, without judgment or criticism, this doesn’t come from everyone, in fact I have found it to be rare. I am grateful to have found some safe places in life.

Thanks for reading

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