CALLING BS ON MYSELF!

I know it has been awhile since I written something here. I have been putting pressure on myself that makes me delay posting even further. For months I have been trying to write something that is worthy of putting up here. But what is worthy? In my mind it has to be perfection. 

I have been writing in my daily time I set aside for myself, those writings mostly feel like journaling to me, ramblings, which also serve a purpose, but not for anyone to read. I keep doing it because I feel like any writing is keeping up my practice and better than not writing at all. It is like anything else, exercise, meditation, keep doing it long enough and it all starts to be a habit. 

Really, here is my hurdle. I want perfection; I want the punctuation and the sentences to be correct, the grammar and spelling to be on point. I go over it so many times I am sick of it when it’s done and never look at it again. It’s killing my want to write. If I did not put so much emphasis on the preciseness of what I am posting it would likely go back to being fun again. 

I want to be good, I want to be perfect and truth is it never will be. I could go back to any of my past posts and pull out flaws. Does anyone care? Do I care? No to both. 

So with this post I am calling bullshit on myself. I am saying that I can write and it can have flaws and missed punctuation. It can have poor sentence structure. Also, I really don’t know what I am talking about with all of this because I barely made a passing grade in English in high school and had a year of college for Floristry (plants and flower shop managing) So really this is what I operating with here. I am just going to write and hope that it all works out ok. 

Writing is good for me. It makes me feel better and every time I get a little closer to unraveling something more. When I write a blog post I feel important and worthy, lately I haven’t felt any of those things. I want to get back on track and give myself a break. I want to stop suffocating myself by not putting so many rules on my writing. 

Aren’t we all just doing the best we can?

I am good enough and I have no less than a thousand things on my mind to write about.

Thanks for reading and  appreciate your support

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